did you miss me?

It has been rather a long time since I wrote a blog. I don't think anyone noticed. Mostly because I don't believe anyone reads this except me, but thats ok, I like talking to myself you see.

Christmas was snowy. And I got spotty green wellies, and perfume (so I can smell good again), and beautiful jewellery, and lots of other lovely things.

I got a whole year older, it was anti climactic, but quite nice. (I went shopping, and I was actually allowed to buy books!)

New Year was spent asleep, and before that at the cinema, because I think its just a bit of a lame excuse to get drunk. So what, its a whole new year, its just another day.

I painted a week or so ago, it was quite nice so I might not be broken after all in that way. I have been dreaming about buying new fancy paper and drawing and designing prints and things, so creativity has not been beaten out by all that reading and intellectual type things I have been doing.

Horatio is still the weirdest fish in the world. I bought him new plants because the old ones were getting shabby, but I don't think he appreciates it.

I'm supposed to be doing alot of things right now, but as per usual, I'm not. Don't worry, there is still time, and everything will get done, just probably at the last minute.

My days are currently planned around watching Everwood, which I'm sure is not the greatest TV programme ever, but it is my current addiction.

Oh, and I got multi coloured pens for my birthday, so everything I write is a different colour, it makes making notes so much more fun. I would definitely recommend it.

Thats it for now, I do hope you have enjoyed this update on whats going on with me. Isn't it just the most exciting thing ever? :)

Stay tuned for my next blog, which shall be a step by step explanation of how I made a cat from wet felting. Its going to be epic.

I am the queen of procrastinationising

See?

This is me, writing a blog, when I should be writing my assignments.

I have less than 2 weeks to go, one is almost done, one is not even properly started. The one not started is the scariest, and I am scared.

I am scared that I am not nearly intellectual enough to write such things. Fire bad, tree pretty, is all my brain can handle, as Buffy would say. (I could totally write an essay about Buffy, do you think they would accept that at my University? I don't think so)

I am also scared that unless this silly snow stops I won't be able to go to the library and get more books, to help me sound more intellectual. (I shall brave the snow tomorrow, with my wellies and multiple layers of clothing and gloves)

So instead of addressing these problems, today I have watched Veronica Mars, and DIY SOS, made breakfast, and lunch, tidied up a bit, and now I am writing a blog. Yesterday I watched alot of episodes of the Vampire Diaries and improved my Oven Break game playing skills on my phone. No essay was written yesterday. This is not good. Please can someone write my essay for me? No, I can't do that, I will write it, I will, I will.

Today I am trying, I really am. I have written, but I am still avoiding the troublesome sections, I even read some more things, and this almost finished assignment is starting to look okay. If only I could finish it. Perhaps I should listen to Beyonce, that helped with my dissertation writing this time two years ago. But I am listening to my self made Vampire Diaries playlist, its nice with lots of nice angsty depressing songs.

Ack.

Right then, must return. No more procrastinationising for me.

(PS I do realise that procrastinationising is not a real word, don't worry)

Snow Day

Today I am having a self imposed snow day.

I woke up to discover the train I had intended to get had been cancelled. As I continued to update live departure information for my train station every train got more and more delayed. If the trains can't run the buses won't be any better.

So today I shall hibernate in my nice warm house, with Gilmore Girls and my two assignments.

I don't really like snow.

I mean, its quite pretty, and when the sun shines on it it makes everything look alot brighter and happy. It reminds me of Christmas, and all the lovely things associated with it.

However, I hate snow driving. Its exhausting. You have to concentrate properly, and go slowly but in high gears, and the car doesn't like it, and every time you need to break I panic because I am terrified of skidding.

Also, it ruins all other transport options. Snow on train tracks and main roads means messed up bus and train services. Which is just quite inconvenient.

Plus, I don't have any good snow footwear. I refuse to wear my newest boots because they are nice and leather and will get destroyed. I have wellies but they aren't very warm. I need some good snow boots, that can get destroyed if necessary. But I can't buy snow boots if I can't get anywhere can I? Stupid snow.

Mostly I just don't like the cold. Snow makes everything extra cold.

On the plus side the tree in my front garden looks exceptionally pretty.

Oh look its snowing again. Wonderful. I shall now close the blinds, and hide from it all.

Another day, another crazy.

I'm sorry, I lied. I didn't knit a snowman. I got distracted, I don't even remember by what. I apologise.

However, I have crocheted some more. Crocheting with garden twine can be painful though, so I wouldn't recommend it. Also one must be careful when dying garden twine not to also dye your fingers blue. It looks a little odd.

I have recently begun re-watching Ally McBeal again from the beginning. I'm not sure how much of a good idea this is. It makes me a little crazy, because Ally is so crazy. And yet at the same time it is quite lovely. It makes me think what my theme song might be. Usually I would say "Broken" by Lifehouse but I think theme songs are supposed to be more up tempo (and possibly a little happier). So I don't have a theme song, but I do find daily life easier with a soundtrack. That's why I am so thankful for the invention of mp3 type devices, and little little headphones. They help me be more anti-social, and at the same time allow me to walk around without being terrified.

I have also been making progress on my making of Christmas presents. I have finished quite a few, and I think I have all the materials to make the rest. (Yes, I know, its too early, but I must be prepared, or I shall panic)

I am also enjoying the latest Taylor Swift album. I like country music, it has lots of emotion. Maybe "Haunted" can be my theme song.

Also I would like to marry John Cage possibly. And I am scared to watch Season 3 because that is when the bad things happen. But Season 4 has Robert Downey Jr, which is just lovely (sidebar - Due Date is an hilarious film, everyone should watch it).

I had to read my happy ending book the other day. I can't figure out why I needed to. Also I have stopped going to my diet sessions, because I am sick of being disappointed. I don't need to pay £5 to have someone make me feel rubbish. I can still be on a diet (although this week I didn't, because I wanted chocolate caramel shortbread, and chips, and ice cream), I just can't be so stressed about it.

Tonight is the Big Bang Theory. I LOVE that show. Sheldon is the funniest person ever to have lived ever.

Knitting & Crochet

Tonight I think I might knit a Snowman.

I taught myself to crochet yesterday. I can only do 1 type of stitch (a surprisingly complicated one, which is a little odd), but I have been practicing that stitch and I only mess up every 3 rows now, instead of every 3 stitches.

This is a development from my recent knitting phase. I am learning to crochet with the intention of crocheting some form of basket for a christmas present for someone. First I must find blue garden string. Or dye normal garden string blue. It will be an adventure.

I haven't read a book in a week, and its making me feel weird. But I don't know what to read. I am in the middle of a book, but I'm just not terribly inspired to finish it.

What I really want is Heaven's Spite by Lilith Saintcrow, or Side Jobs by Jim Butcher. But alas I am broke. If I wish to get the bus for the next few weeks there can be no book buying. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to carry on with the hundreds of books I already own.

Maybe its time to re-read some things again.

This weekend I will sort through my recent collagraph prints in preparation for an upcoming workshop. I also need to discover what happens when I put polystyrene through the printing press. Wonderful, wonderful printing press. I also intend to have a good diet week, so fingers crossed for that.

It's bonfire night tomorrow. Which isn't really all that exciting. I anticipate a lack of sleep due to extremely noisy and probably unnecessary fireworks, and sounds of fire engines rushing around dealing with all the unruly bonfires being monitored by drunk people. Do you get the impression I don't like bonfire night? Its not that I don't like it, I just don't see the point (although I do like fire, its pretty).

Now, time to knit a Snowman. (photographic evidence will be forthcoming)

5am makes me sleepy

Over the past few days I have had to wake up at 5am (or thereabouts) twice. I am not a morning person. I hate waking up in the dark. I especially dislike 5am.

Mostly because no matter how hard I try I can't sleep early the night before, so I end up with not enough sleep. So now I am contemplating bed at 7:20pm, which is just silly.

Thankfully tomorrow I get a lie in. Then I have a little mini expedition planned. Then I must get to work on my University assignments.

I have just been looking at random things (because I am avoiding doing any real work), and found my way inadvertently to some exciting things.

Firstly I have discovered that I am quite obsessed with contemporary art in heritage locations. Or at least I really quite like it, and think it is a wonderful idea. I was first introduced to this idea in the form of public art, and more recently the lovely exhibition "Extraordinary Measures" at Belsay Hall. Now I desperately want to see "Not Forgotten" at Townley Hall. It sounds awesome, and thought provoking and quite lovely. I'm not sure why this whole concept interests me. The juxtaposition and contrast is fascinating. So hopefully I can talk my mum into a road trip to see this latest incarnation (and its research for university too!)

Heres the place where you can find out about "Not Forgotten" http://www.midpenninearts.org.uk/visualarts

They are planning more such things in the future, which is terribly exciting (or at least it is to me).

I'm also going through a knitting phase at the moment. I spent 6 hours of coach journey knitting yesterday. And the whole day Saturday. Even my bus journey this morning. It's quite addictive.

Some of the things I am knitting are presents. Mostly I just like knitting I think. Its quite therapeutic. I think I might knit snowmen, and Christmas tree decorations, and other random things.

I want more yarn though, so I can knit more things, but I am trying not to spend money in November, because I am quite poor right now. Why do things always have to cost money? Damn it.

Saturday Morning

Today it is raining, and my diet is not going well. I should learn that a whole tub of ben & jerry's cookie dough ice cream is not proper diet food. But I was ill so it doesn't count?

To celebrate my crappy diet skills I shall go to the cinema and eat popcorn. Then from Sunday onwards I shall only eat good food, like fruit and vegetables, and maybe next week will be a better week.

In other news, I was ill this week. A horrible, horrible cold. The kind of cold that makes your whole body ache. I still have a sore throat/croaky voice thing going on. So I still can't sleep properly. You would think that being sick means you need to sleep to recover, but you can't sleep when you're sick, so you just get worse. Its stupid.

But better news, I get to see Lifehouse again in February! Woo! Very excited for that. I was going to count the days, but its alot of days, and there is alot to do before then. Like write an essay, and a report, and a presentation, and have christmas, and become 24.

I spent a large part of this week puzzling out Gantt Charts and Critical Path Analysis. These are supposed to make project management easier. They frustrate me. But I suppose they do help eventually, once you figure them out. Plus if you colour code them they can look awfully pretty.

I also watched alot of episodes of Jamie Oliver's 30-minute meals. Everything always looks so darn tasty, and is apparently quite easy to do. I don't know if I believe this but I shall try. I'm going to make pasta and sauce tomorrow inspired by Jamie Oliver, I hope it is as tasty as it looked on tv.

And the best news of all? I got new thermal socks. Oh yes, I said thermal socks. You see when you spend a good portion of your day, at the coldest part of the day, standing at a bus stop, having warm feet is such a wonderful thing.

Last Night

I went to see Lifehouse.

Lifehouse are awesome. That's pretty much it. Jason Wade is even better in person. The whole atmosphere of every song comes across so much stronger than on the cd (or mp3).

The show started off quite bouncy, with some of the newer rockier songs, but there was a wonderful mix of old stuff in there too. They played some of my favourites, like Everything, Broken, Hanging by a Moment, Breathing, You and Me and Blind. Jason did a mini acoustic set in the middle, which was lovely.

I think I like my favourite songs even more now that I have heard them live. Especially Broken. It is one of those songs that just has this power, and live that power is amplified. You and Me was also lovely, because everyone could sing along, and that had that wonderful feeling of when thousands of people sing one song together in a venue. If you have never had that live music experience then I am sorry, it is wonderful.

I took some photos - a selection of which are here. They are pretty much Jason orientated, because he is quite special. That's not to say the rest of the band aren't. I also made some mini snippet videos, which I don't feel right putting on here (for copyright reasons, because they contain their music, and we have to be careful and respectful of that). But I am now watching them over and over - mostly for the sound element, I am not a particularly good videographer, but the sounds that come from them are lovely.

I'll leave with you with some photos, and I hope that everyone gets to see their favourite band live once in their lives, its really quite nice.

Bedtime at 7pm.

This week has been terribly exhausting. Getting up at 6am is horrible. And it has rained alot. I even had to wear a coat! I hate wearing coats.

The learning things is going ok, didn't learn loads this week but it was only the beginning, next week will be more intense. I have lots of reading to do.

In other news, everyone should read Graceling and Fire by Kristin Cashore because they are wonderful books. Fantasy (that are apparently for like teenagers? but I don't think so), with wonderful love stories running underneath. They brightened my dreary bus journeys.

Also, I got a sneak peek of the Anselm Kiefer exhibition that opens at Baltic next week, via the viewing platform on Level 5. I would go there everyday and watch if I could! (In fact I probably could, but I think the gallery assistants might start to become suspicious of me) I am terribly excited for this exhibition. Kiefer is awesome.

The best news of all is that Lifehouse is next week yay!!! And Jason's finger is healing so he can play guitar, which is slightly essential to this whole music making thing. I am extremely excited for this show, it's like one of my life's ambitions about to come true! If only I could decide what to wear!!! (Lifehouse deserves ridiculous amounts of exclamation marks)

I bought new socks today, because in my week of commuting I have realised the benefits of good socks. They keep your feet warm. Which is essential whilst waiting at a bus stop. Even more so when walking around a city.

Now I must go to sleep, even though it is only 8:30pm (I lied in the title, I would like bedtime to be 7pm, but that is just a little too early). It may seem early, but I like sleep, and have gotten used to having about 10 or 11 hours each night this summer, so this week has been a harsh and horrible upset of that. Goodnight world.

Freaking Out.

Tomorrow I go back to University, to learn things, in order to progress, and one day have a proper job, and a little terraced house with a big comfy armchair and floor to ceiling bookcases.

First I have to learn the things. Which is scary, because I haven't learnt things in a University atomosphere for over a year now. I haven't been to a lecture in longer than that (because my learning at the end of my undergraduate degree was practical, and I didn't really do much learning anyway). Therefore I am scared.

So I am preparing in my own special way.

Over the last 2 weeks I have watched Greys Anatomy from Season 2 to the end of Season 6. I have knitted alot of hats, even though I don't wear hats. I have made some lino prints. I have made soup, and experimented with new recipes for new things (including some amazing turkey meatballs and spaghetti, seriously, hand made meatballs with turkey mince, garlic, basil and oregano, amazing! And easy, and healthy!).

The only seemingly sensible thing I have done is find some assorted stationary in my cupboards and re-cover it to make it look pretty. I have notebooks and paper and files all ready to be filled with new knowledge. I even have an academic diary, and new shoes to wear while learning the new things. Well done me.

The one thing I should have done is read some books from the reading list. I bought them weeks ago. But have I read them? Um, no.

I started on Thursday, but just couldn't, I wasn't seeing the words.

Today I read one essay, and I think I absorbed it, it was interesting. This makes me a little less scared, but not terribly so. I have alot to absorb. To reward myself for the reading I watched Transformers.

So now I expect I should continue, and read some more. Well I might. But I think I might watch Indiana Jones instead. I like Harrison Ford. And this new one has Shia Laboeuf as well. What more could a girl ask for?

Wish me luck on my learning endeavours, I think I might need it!

(Please note this scared thing does not stop me from being excited, I want to learn the things, I do. Its just a little intimidating.)

I think its time

for me to re-read "First Lord's Fury", the final book in the Codex of Alera series by Jim Butcher.

I love Jim Butcher, he is awesome, especially at writing books. I first got addicted to the Harry Dresden novels, and soon wanted to read his other work as well, and then got equally addicted to Codex of Alera.

Alera is a more fantasy series, although it is what I refer to as fantasy-lite, which just means it is nowhere as near as long as some of the fantasy books around, and doesn't spend a whole chapter describing a tree. Personally I prefer this lite version of fantasy, I am impatient and I like stuff to happen in books, and I much appreciate being able to imagine parts myself, without being told exactly what it looks like (which is why I think I prefer books to films and tv in the end). This series is about Tavi, and others, and some adventures and battles, and magic. I won't go into lots of detail (because I am rubbish at describing books) but I would recommend to anyone to read the series.

Jim Butcher's most longest and famousest series is the Harry Dresden series, about a wizard who lives in Chicago and has an office and everything. This series is kind of urban fantasy I suppose, but I think it is one of the best of that genre around. It has action and magic, and mystery and crime, and occasionally some romance, and the best part is that it is funny too (it is also dark in the correct places, I'm not saying this is a comedy series, it most definitely isn't). There has been a few occasions that I have been on public transport reading one of the books, and I have had to laugh out loud, and therefore gotten some funny looks, but it is just that funny. You can't put them down either. Earlier this year I was lucky enough to find a copy in a bookshop that didn't understand the concept of a release date, and so got to read the latest, "Changes" early, it was a wonderful, wonderful day for me! Now I am waiting till next April for the next installment, which seems like forever. Hurry up April please.

So off I go now to read, with a short intermission to watch some Supernatural, because Sam and Dean are hard to resist. ttfn

yay for alphabet rubber stamps

Today I went to some museums. The first one costed £1.30, and the ticket lasts for a month, this is fine, I am willing to pay that, it was a fun little crazy museum about my home town, and there was a printing press, and I have a bit of a thing about printing presses.

The second one (well it wasn't a museum but it was kind of), promised me live butterflies, lots and lots of butterflies. But it cost £3.50, and, well, I am self employed, with currently no job prospects, and about to start an ma which costs £4000. Therefore I am quite poor. So I didn't get to see Butterflies today (except the ones in my garden, which will just have to do for now).

The third one I'm sure was supposed to be free. But I arrived, with my museum going friend in tow, and lo and behold it costs £5. And well, I like trains and railway stuff, but at the moment, I don't like it £5 worth.

Our final stop was successful, the wonderful galleries at Darlington Arts Centre, which have magically changed what is being shown since I was there last (which was last week, which makes it better). Three lovely exhibitions, all completely different but quite lovely. And best of all? Its FREE!!!

I like free museums and art.

Yesterday I went to see another free art gallery. In Newcastle. Its called the Baltic. Sorry, I meant to say its in Gateshead. I forget sometimes about that one side of the river thing.

Usually the Baltic doesn't show things I want to see. But at the moment it does. Some nice prints and drawings by John Cage (not the one from Ally MacBeal, but one who is apparently more famous and also a composer, who knew?), some strange sculptures/installations/drawings by Cornelia Parker, which I had mixed expectations of but I quite enjoyed. Finally some bizarre things inspired by John Cage, and a strange spiderweb. All of these things were really quite lovely, and interesting. And of course it was free, which is always nice when you are on a budget.

I mean, I understand that museums and galleries have to charge sometimes because it costs money to run a gallery/museum, and its only going to get worse with all this budget cut rubbish that is hanging over the art world like an anvil about to drop. But sometimes, I wish I could go and see everything for free, especially at the moment when I don't have money to spare.

In other news, my day was made much better when I discovered some alphabet rubber stamps on sale for 99p in a local art shop. I LOVE alphabet rubber stamps. You can stamp words, or whole sentences, and its just wonderful.

I also got some isometric paper. Which is just about as exciting as the rubber stamps, because its all triangles, and I can mix them with the stripes, or draw maps on it, and there will be triangles.

Yes, I do get excited by alphabet rubber stamps, and isometric paper. That is my life. Its quite sad, but also quite nice. (I also quite like graph paper, and printing presses, alot.)

PS - the stripes and stamps are for a new idea/project I am working on. I'm using squares and putting on stripes, and there are some maps mixed in, its quite nice, photographic evidence will arrive shortly.

Rain.

Rain is quite annoying.

Most especially lately because my windscreen wipers are not so great. So whenever it rains I have to avoid driving places.

I've been reading some lovely books lately. They are by Maria Snyder, and are kind of fantasy type magic themed. But of course they are not that high fantasy I'm-going-to-spend-100-pages-describing-a-tree type thing. Stuff actually happens, and its all in a made up world of magic and magicians, and people who live in trees, and in the desert, and evil people who steal other peoples magic. (and they aren't ridiculously long and heavy)

The first trilogy is about Yelena, who starts off as a prisoner, then becomes a food taster, and finally realises she is a magician. Then she goes off on some adventures, and gets in trouble, and nearly dies, etc. I read all 3 in a few days, because I wanted to know what happened next.

The second trilogy is a bit of a spin off, about Opal, who is a glass magician. There are only 2 books of this trilogy that have currently been released, which annoys my impatient streak quite alot.

These books have a lovely mix of fantasy, magic, action, with a bit of a love story, and some mystery and adventure. The lead is, in both cases, a strong female, who sometimes is a bit more of a damsel in distress, but most of the time she saves herself, which is important, because in the end we all must save ourselves. These books are not amazingly amazing (like anything by Jim Butcher), but they are worth reading I think. For an enjoyable time more than anything. And that's why we read books isn't it? For fun? At least thats my reason.

Lovely Lifehouse

Yesterday I booked tickets to see Lifehouse in London in October. They are my FAVOURITE band. I mean, I don't usually pick favourites for things like that (like books, films, etc), but really, its true, Lifehouse are my favourite.

They haven't been to England on tour for like 8 years, I know this because last time they were here me and my friend tried to decide if it was worth running away from home to london to see them. We were 15, so a trip to London by ourselves was not a good idea. Ever since then I have waited patiently, and soon my waiting is over.

Words cannot express how excited I am to see them.

For those of you in the world that do not know who Lifehouse are, shame on you! They are a band, who play songs, lovely songs. Their lead singer has a wonderful low, slightly scratchy, kind of mellow lovely voice. I could listen to him sing always. Plus he writes these amazing beautiful songs. "Everything" is a true love song I think, as is "Breathing". "Broken" I find surprisingly uplifting, even though its a bit depressing at the same time. And "Storm" is lovely and depressing (which is a little bit of an oxymoron, but I don't care).

When their new album was due out last year, I listened to the first single streaming on repeat via their website for days. I am still not sick of it. I don't think I've ever been sick of them.

Now I have to save up for a T-shirt, because I imagine, like my John Mayer at Royal Albert Hall T-shirt, I will sleep much better wearing a Lifehouse t-shirt.

In other news, my exhibition has finished, and I am exhausted, but it went well. Next is some more workshops, then a bit of a break before University again. I am looking forward to being a student again (although I do have to skip one of the first few days for Lifehouse, they are definitely worth it).

Graph Paper is my favourite paper.

My exhibition is now fully installed and open and such. I am enjoying playing shopkeeper, opening shutters and doors, turning on the lights with the fancy keys, and sitting in the shop watching out for weirdos. I even sold a picture today which was exciting.

In other news, I have re-discovered my love of graph paper for drawing on. It makes precise squares easier.

And I finally cleaned Horatio's fish tank, so he has nice clean water to swim in. Of course he is still as weird as ever, sitting very still in various positions for a while. He is a bizarre fish.

Graph paper is nice. I like that it is blue, and makes all my pictures automatically more blue.

Also I have received my new shipment of quickprint (which is basically polystyrene I can draw into and take relief prints from) so I can start experimenting with layers of prints and such. I'm very excited. And I get to use the printing press next week, I do like printing presses.

I was watching some Season 5 of Buffy the other day, the wonderful episode Checkpoint. Its wonderful because of Buffy's little power speech. She does make some good speeches that girl. I also watched some Dawn being extra annoying episodes. She really does annoy me.

And I have been reading the Buffy comics. I like them, although they aren't like the real Buffy. I suppose they are real Buffy really, I'm just not a massive comic/graphic novel fan. It is nice to see how the story develops, although some elements confuse me. I won't go into too much detail in case of spoilers, but there are some interesting things that happen, some of which make sense, some don't. But I don't like Oz's wife and child, well I don't think they are married, but whatever. Oz should never love anyone after Willow (except me). Also comic Oz is not nearly attractive enough. And Warren would never have survived being skinned alive, that is a little far fetched. But aside from that I like this mysterious Twilight character, and that Riley is there, and Faith, and all the old gang. Comic Giles looks a little young, but hey maybe he should get a little bit of eternal youth, he works hard.

I want to bake.

I really do.

Baking is a very good way for me to deal with stress.

But you see, if I bake, I eat. And I'm trying to be good about that. No cookies or cakes or such. And certainly not flapjack. But you know pineapple and pears and raspberries and strawberries just don't cut it right now.

I watched a slightly sappy, but rather lovely film. 500 days of summer. I have been wanting to watch this since it was showing in cinemas. My mum bought the dvd months ago. Finally tonight I got to watch it. Its really quite good. It isn't a love story. But it is quite nice all the same.

Yesterday I watched Happy Gilmore and Big Daddy, because Adam Sandler is AWESOME. Never fails to cheer me up. Not that I'm down. Just a bit stressed.

My exhibition is next week, and I have finished the work, but now I'm starting to doubt the work, and I'm thinking of acquiring frames for some of the darker stuff. But that stuff is all irregular shapes. Why couldn't I conform to regular sizes? Damn my emotional outbursts in ink. But really I do like my recent attempts, I just, I just feel they are a bit rubbish. I think its just nerves. And stress. But still, more frames I think, because better safe than sorry.

Oh gosh I must think of names for the triptych. Can't they all just be called the same darn thing? They could be called "emotional outburst landscape" I actually like that.

I'm having a barbecue next week (weather permitting). This might be my opportunity to bake, because then I don't necessarily have to eat the baked things, I can feed them to my friends. Yes, that is the solution. Bake cookies, and potentially lemon cake, and make other people eat them!

PS - I watched the entire of Season 1 of Supernatural in 4 days this week. It was a little bit too much of an extremely attractive men fighting evil overload, but in a good way. I need Season 2 now. I've seen it once before, but with men that attractive, it is always best to watch it again.

Also, I read some more Buffy comics, more on that later.

I'd forgotten

Just how very much I love this song. And all the things that are associated with this song.

What song is this, I hear you ask, well its "That Kind of Love" by Alison Krauss. It is playing at the end of the Season 6 episode of Buffy, the 18th I think, called "Entropy". The one where Spike and Anya get drunk and have sex and everyone sees via a secret camera that the trio has planted in the Magic Box, and it makes everyone sad, or sadder than they were (because some of them started off feeling sad, hence the drinking and the sex).

This episode, and those following it, are awesome examples of Buffy. They are some of my favourites in fact. Especially "Grave", the finale. I love that the big bad for this Season is Willow. We spend the year thinking its the Trio (Andrew, Warren & Jonathon), but its not. This group of episodes has some quality Buffy, some good fights, some emotional stuff, and the best Xander speech ever. I could watch them over and over (which, of course, I have).

It also has some quality music. Including this song, (and "Prayer of Saint Francis" by Sarah McLachlan that just finishes the series perfectly) that I love, but I had forgotten I loved. Its like how I forgot that I loved sweetcorn. And embroidery. I mean they're all completely different, but still, I had forgotten how much I enjoyed them, and I rediscovered them recently.

Embroidery makes my fingers hurt, but it makes pretty things. Pretty things that take weeks to create, but the end is so worth the means. I put all the embroideries in frames today, it makes me feel special. That I get to show these things, these pictures, captures of my emotional mental state, to the world (or at least a small portion of it).

Now back to my original topic. This wonderful song, this beautiful song.

There are few truly beautiful songs around (in my opinion anyway). Another is "Everything" by Lifehouse. Oh and "Storm" by them too. Lifehouse are good that way (in fact Lifehouse are generally awesomely wonderful, they are maybe my favourite, if I had a favourite). I also like "Full of Grace" by Sarah McLachlan, but that's probably got something to do with its Buffy link. It plays out the second series, "Becoming Part 2" when Buffy kills Angel and sends him to hell, then runs away. That's another example of some good Buffy. I fear that all these lovely songs may be sad songs. Although Everything is a love song really, in a good way I think, so that's ok. There is hope yet.

I really shouldn't watch these particular episodes of Buffy. I end up all contemplative, and random. But they are wonderful, don't let my contemplation put you off. Others may not end up like me. I have watched them too much, and am too much of a Buffy Geek (meaning sometimes I forget that the characters and the world, and the vampires and the stuff isn't really real).

So dear world, please listen to this pretty song (That Kind of Love, by Alison Krauss), and please watch more Buffy (watch it all, the good and the bad, because it's worth it). I shall leave you with this quote, that makes me want to cry whenever I watch it, because it is beautiful, and everyone should have a Xander, oh if only he were real. So, "crayon breaky, scary veiny.....

"It doesn't matter, I'll still love you."

You knew it had to happen sometime.

I went to see eclipse last night. It was awful.

There are no words for how ridiculous it was. How can a film/franchise get so far away from its starting point? These books that I read in a 72 hour period in New York oh so many years ago (well like 3), that I refused to get on a plane without owning all 3 (I'm not mentioning number 4), and reading all 3 of, what happened?

Those of you out there in the world that have read the books, that have enjoyed the books, that have been moved by this tension and romance filled love triangle, that have wanted to read them over and over, and are truly on a team Edward or team Jacob, the true Edward and Jacob that is. Do you agree with me?

These last 2 films have just plain made me angry. Gratuitous shirt removal, chops and changes to the plot and the fundamental facts, and the eventual creation of this farce they now call the Twilight Saga. (I must point out that the atmosphere and visuals of the first film endeared me towards it more, it had that feeling that the book has, so I shall forgive some changes and less than amazing casting)

I have only ever walked out of a film at the cinema once. I came very close last night.

So this blog is a plea, dear world, read the books, read these books, read other vampire books. But don't do it because you fancy Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner (because you don't have a hope in hell with them, or any vampire or werewolf because like these mythical hollywood types, they aren't real), don't do it because you like the films, or that TV show. Do it because they are good, sometimes scary and sometimes heartbreaking, always interesting, and because books are magical things that can take you to another world, a world where imagination rules, anything can happen, and vampires and werewolves can be real for a time.

PS - if you must watch anything vampire related, watch Buffy, its awesome (and there are much more attractive vampires and werewolves).

To-do lists are pure evil.

I just made a to-do list of things to do this week. Its much too long. And includes alot of vague things like "plan stuff". The thing is, that this week is supposed to be a quiet week, a week off if you will.

But oh no, there is no such thing.

I started to tackle my to-do list a a little while ago, but I didn't get far. I started typing up some financial stuff, but I got bored, and it required me to go find receipts and invoices and stuff, but I just can not be bothered. Then I started to write addresses on envelopes for posting, but there couldn't possibly be anything more dull, and my eyes are hayfever watering, which makes seeing properly difficult. So today shall be my day off, and tomorrow I shall stress out about my to-do list.

In other news, my current Dawson's Creek obsession has reached new heights. Yesterday I think I watched about 8 episodes of the lovely season 3, the Joey and Pacey fall in love season, ending of course in the wonderful episode, entitled "True Love". Yet again I find myself wondering, why can't there be more Pacey's in the world? In fact, why can't Pacey just be real dammit. If I didn't get so seasick I would insist upon someone sailing me away for a while. Oh well, back to reality I suppose. Now I am watching Season 4, where the downfall of Joey and Pacey happens. I hope you don't confuse all this Pacey rambling as me saying I wish to be Joey Potter, I most emphatically do not. She is much to annoying, and really rather stupid. Plus you know she has this whole thing where she is in love with Dawson, and I mean really, why would you be in love with him? He has ridiculous hair.

A good friend of mine has suggested I read the Buffy Season 8 comics, or graphic novels, whatever you like to call them. I think I may have to, because I am a major Buffy geek, and I have some quiet time, and no new books to read. (I would very much like to read the new Sherrilyn Kenyon teenage effort, about the younger years of Nick Gautier, but my attempts to purchase it have been foiled by the crappy stock of my local bookshops) This makes it sound as if I do not actually want to read them, I promise you I do, but see Buffy is so terribly important to me, in that my favourite TV show, that kept me sane as a teenager, throughout that scary time that is Secondary school, that I worry that the comics may not live up to the wonderfullness of the original show. I shall have to get over my fears, which are almost definitely unfounded. My friend assures me they are good, and that once I have read them we will have whole new Buffy scenarios to discuss. So I shall read them and report back.

Today I have eaten 2 pears and an apple, in an attempt to not bake cookies, and then proceed to eat them all, which is what I would really like to do. Being on a diet is hard when you are bored/stressed. So I shall go find another apple, and drink some more Diet Coke (which I am now addicted to), and watch Dawson's Creek, and try to not to succumb to my cookie cravings.

PS - I now have "Songs from Dawson's Creek, Vol.1" on repeat in both my car and on my computer, its not as good as I remembered, but still rather good.

Also, I went to see Newton Faulkner live on Friday, he was really quite awesome, I recommend anyone who has the opportunity to see him live do so, it will be worth it. (Just remember to wear comfortable shoes)

TTFN

Walking Makes Your Feet Hurt.

Oh Dawson's Creek, how I love you! The inevitable has happened, I have watched the final episode yet again. And of course, here I sit, teary eyed, wondering why can't all men be like Pacey? And of course I am very sad about Jen. I really enjoy the music on Dawson's Creek, its quite perfect. I wish I hadn't lost my copy of the first Dawson's Creek soundtrack, maybe I shall ask itunes if they have it.

This week I had a nice conversation with a man in Forbidden Planet about silly American and separate English versions of books. It makes my life terribly complicated. Plus they are re-releasing alot of my favourites with new covers now that Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy are the new cool thing, oh I'm sorry, they call it "Dark Fantasy" now, what a load of rubbish. The old names were perfectly fine. I mean really, do we need to fill our shops with it, do vampires have to be so cool? I liked them much better when they weren't. And it hasn't made getting the books I want any easier. In fact its worse, because the bookshops are so full of the teeny vampire stuff (which I admit, I do read, but its not the best) that there is no room for the good stuff! (I use the term good stuff loosely, it is in my opinion good stuff, but some people may disagree) The only shiny wonderful thing is that maybe I shall be able to get the new Rachel Vincent, Alpha, more easily when it comes out. I am desperate to read that book. I got off track there, my initial complaint is that now they are re-releasing things with new covers I wont have a matching set of most of my favourite books. And I have to have a horrible Trublood cover for my Sookie Stackhouse, which is entirely unnecessary. I am reading a book, not watching TV, I dont need to see real people, thankyou very much.

Ok, mini rant over.

And so shall begin another. They have put in new self service tills in my Sainsburys, and taken away some regular ones. This infuriates me. It doesn't use less staff, as they are constantly having to fix the damn things. They get confused when you use your own bags. They take longer in the end. I would like my regular tills back please.

In other news, the busiest week is almost over. So from tomorrow I shall become a hermit. Mostly because I am running low on petrol, and I cant afford or be bothered to buy more right now. But also because I need to spend some quality time with my books, and my tv, and my Dawsons Creek, and potentially Buffy. I may attempt to create more things, but I think I need to concentrate on the embroidering, as my exhibition is not too far away now. Thankfully this coincides with my need to watch Dawson's Creek, as I couldn't possibly not watch something whilst sewing.

I suppose I should also plan stuff, and make records, and sort out some budgets and stuff. But really when I could be watching Dawsons Creek and embroidering, why would I want to do anything else?

PS - I went to see this new Temenos thing today, the huge public art thingy in Middlesbrough. It was quite nice, although I had to walk a long way to see it.